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Studio C Season 50/Transcript
BACKSTAGE: Jeremy: Hey man! You excited for the new season? Adam: Oh Yeah! So excited to be back on set! Mallory: Yes, my brothers! So, how- how many seasons do you guys think we're going to be doing? Like maybe eight or ten or something? James: Or fifty seasons! Jason: (Maniacal laughter) Trust me, that would be awful. Whitney: No way! How did you get that? Jason: I'm a time traveller. Matt: Time traveller or a Time Lord? Jason: Stop pandering, Matthew! Matt: Ouch, those are real! James: I don't care how he got it, I just want to watch it. Jason: What? No, James! Whitney: Yeah, put it in! Jason: James, no! Whitney: Come on, come on! Play it! Jason: You don't know what y- Whitney: Put it in! James: All right. SEASON 15: Señor Lobster Bisque: Come on, what is this? Too many buttons. Hey guys, hi. Welcome to the new season, starring me and only me. Jason: This must be Season 15, the entire cast and crew goes on strike except for James. Señor Lobster Bisque: This is a list of all the words that rhyme with BISQUE, including surnames. DISC, RISK, LILIANQUIST- Jason: This goes on for three seasons. James: How are the ratings? Jason: (Sarcastic laughter) Amazing. James: Nice. Señor Lobster Bisque: -and now let's move on to the slant rhymes. Jason: You win an Emmy for this part. James: Oh, typical. BACKSTAGE: Stephen: Okay Jason, are you saying that you've seen all of our futures? Jason: Yeah, you die in Season 7 after an epileptic seizure from watching the opening credits. Stephen: I knew it. Whitney: What happens to me? Jason: This. WEDDING: Ann Withers: Mr. Stein, as an Outsider I'd often wondered if I'd ever find An Ideal Husband, but thanks to you my cares are Gone With the Wind and I am no longer Misérables, but instead I can face this Brave New World all dolled up like a Princess Bride, and thank you for letting my wedding colors be The Color Purple. Jason: That wasn't even a sketch, that was your actual wedding! Stephen: R. L. Stein is your back-up? Whitney: I'm just as upset as you are! Stephen: Yeah, right. BACKSTAGE: Mallory: Guys, what's going on here? Adam: So what happens to the rest of us? Jason: Well, Natalie quits after having octuplets. Natalie: What? Jason: What? Nothing. Mallory goes to prison after strangling the seven millionth fan who asked her if she's dating Matt. Mallory: I did that yesterday, but I didn't get caught. Jason: And Adam? Adam: Yeah? Jason: The Special Effects team gets a little experimental with you, so it's probably just better if we watch it. ON-SET: Adam: Jeremy! We finally have the technology for Portal guns! (screams) Jeremy: Hash browns? BACKSTAGE: Adam: I'm not even mad. Natalie: Is anyone else craving some hash browns? Jason: You're going to be craving a lot of things. Natalie: What? Jason: What? Noth- Matt: Listen, guys, just because Mal, Whit, Jeremy, Adam, Stephen and Natalie all have horrible future experiences- Stephen: I die! Matt: -doesn't mean that we shouldn't go all the way to Season 50. We just need to be careful and choose timeless characters. Natalie: Like? Matt: Like Eckelstone, Captain Literally, Kyle, Scott Sterling, oh, Shoulder Angel? Natalie: Please humble him, Jason! Jason: Yep. RETIREMENT HOME: Jason: B-9. Bingo! I win! Stacey: Hey! Hey! Jason: What? Oh hey, Stacey. Stacey: You want to see a pirated version of Parks and Recreation? Jeremy: Stacey, you aged so well. Stacey: Yeah, I do! Get it! Get it! Jason: Oh, I haven't seen that in forty years. Stacey: Oh, and I found a DVD player too! Jason: Oh! Stacey: Come on! Jason: I don't know if that's a good idea, but uh... Stacey: Come on! Shoulder Angel: (cough) Poof! Jason: Who are you? Shoulder Angel: I am your Angel Shoulder. Here, James! Jason: I'm Jeremy! Stacey: No, no! You're Stacey! Shoulder Angel: I'm just going to- Jason: Oh, okay. Oh. Oh (mumble). Shoulder Angel: Am I there yet? Jason: Yeah, close. Is he close? No. Okay. Shoulder Angel: Ah my joints! Jason: You got to want it! Shoulder Angel: It's like climbing a corpse. Write checks my body can't cash. Jason: My body- (squirms) I need my pills! Pills! That was good. Okay. Why do we make this a thing? Why do you alw- Shoulder Angel: Jason? Jason: Yeah? Shoulder Angel: Don't listen to your silver-foxed friend Cyndi. Stacey: Look, I'm Natalie! Shoulder Angel: Don't listen to her! Jason: You got ten seconds before my back explodes! Shoulder Angel: What? Jason: I lied, you have three! (screams) BACKSTAGE: Cast: Oww... Matt: After seeing this, I think we can all agree that we should only do ten more seasons? Crew: First sketch is up! Stephen: Guys, can we talk about changing the opening credits? Natalie: No! Category:Season 6